Played Poker today and did not Do WEll!

Ok so today I went down to the local casino to play some poker and I did not do well at all. I kept getting these horrible hands and even if I would flop something it still woudlnt hold up. It was so annoying.

they have a saying about going on “tilt” well I was pretty much the epidomy of going on tilt. I wanted to kill this guy who I was playing against at this one table… ok so maybe kill is a strong word but I really disliked him ALOTTT!!! He kept standing up and cheering everytime he would even win the smallest pot, everyone at the table was very annoyed it wasn’t just me.

This one guy who was sitting across from me even told the idiot to sit down one time hahahah it was so funny. And the annoying guy actually sat down LOL, I started to chuckle to myself. Maybe it was because the guy who told him to sit down was like 250lbs, he was huge!

Anyway… I ended up only losing about $250 I was only playing 1/2 no limit it’s not like I was playing super high stakes like those guys on tv! NO way those guys are way richer than me haha I won’t ever be able to play those stakes I dont think.

So I had fun overall and even made a few friends at the poker table… maybe it’s because I was practically giving my money away! well they seemed to like me i was making a few jokes here and there so it was fun.

So maybe next time I can have a winning day but this time haha it just didn’t work out, oh well!

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What to do about her!!!

I spoke with Marleen and vocalized my feelings to her…again…and this time, she told me that she realized that she was going to lose me if she didn’t change the errors of her ways.

She exclaims that she is realizing that I am the only one that she wants and she swore to me up and down that she is not cheating me…for the first time…I really believe her. She had tears welling up in her eyes as she told that she loved me and wanted to be the mother of my children.

I have never really had any proof that she was cheating on me…only a gut feeling, but even though we have all been told in life to “go with your instincts”…,my instincts don’t have any proof, and for all I know I am excusing a woman who loves me that she is unfaithful.

Letting her go just because she is distant sometimes may not be a good thing for me, and I may regret it for the rest of my life.

I just want to be in a marriage where I can love, respect, and trust the woman…ALWAYS!!! I am really hoping and wishing that I can start to trust her…afterall, I really have no reason not too!!! I feel a little relieved of this because I already bought the ring!

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Ego Maniac Boss!!

My boss is seriously such an ego maniac!! I have been working for him for almost six years, and I know exactly what needs to be done in every aspect, and yet, he continuously checks over my work, follows up and asks me non-stop questions, berates my work performance and constantly makes me feel utterly inferior to him as an electrician!

I know what I am doing and I am good at my job! I wish he would back off a little and learn how to talk to me! People are always going to need electricians, and I have a skill that will always be needed…maybe I should start my own company… it is so much better than having to listen to a harping and negative man yelling all day long.

The only thing is that when you own your own company, all of the responsibility falls on your shoulders, and in today’s trying economic times, I would hate to invest in something and have it go absolutely nowhere…my house needs renovation, and Marleen and I are getting married, although we haven’t set a date yet.

More about that later, I suppose. I guess I will just try to stick it out a little longer, and see if I can just basically turn the other cheek when he degraded my work performance… sometimes I think he complains just because if he doesn’t hear himself talk, he thinks he isn’t do his job!! lol

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About a Girl

So…there is this girl that I have been dating for a while, and I really love her…in fact, I have found myself many times wondering if she was “the one”? Lately, however, I have this really strange..um..feeling that she is not happy with me and may even be cheating on me!!!

I can’t even fathom being cheated on because I thought I made her happy. I have always made sure to give her the time that she so desperately needs and seems to starve for, and then when I give her everything I think that she wants…it seems as if she is pulling away?

I knew that the honeymoon phase would end eventually, but I thought that Marleen would at least love me until after the honeymoon!!! Lol…I really don’t know what to do? How can I stay in a relationship where I truly feel that she is being a conniving and coy chic? I am hurting over this in a really bad way. Has anyone else ever felt like I do?

It really stinks to love someone and not be treated or loved in the same way. I think it is easier said than done to just move on…afterall…don’t relationships take work and compromise sometimes?

I think that may be just me trying to rationalize a situation that is already sour.

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